I was sitting on my sofa looking out at my lovely lake view, with Merlin my doggie on my lap and very happily drinking my Earl Grey tea. My Husband Steven walked into the room, and we started in on a lingering conversation that soon had us vigorously defending our positions. In the moment, we were seeing each other as complete villains. I was bored with the conversation going nowhere when I suddenly remembered my handy coaching tool. To break a pattern, ask a powerful question. I asked myself, “Bridget, what do you want?” I answered internally: “I want to resolve this conversation with humor—and fast.” This pattern interrupt gave my brain a positive problem to resolve. I took a deep breath, and found myself open to listening to Steven’s point of view in a detached manner. From there, I could truly see where he was coming from. I then shared my side, and we came to the conclusion that it was perfectly acceptable to have different opinions. I said, “Let’s just forgive each other and move on.” We did, and harmony was quietly restored.
If you find yourself in a bad mood, worried about finances, stuck with feeling fear, or in an argument, stop yourself and ask, “What do I want?” This simple question will help you to step back and focus on what’s truly important, and will assist you to return fully to the power of love.
