A boundary defines where we end and where someone else begins. It helps to define what belongs to us, what we are responsible for, and what we are not. Boundaries can act as our support structures in life, and are essential for our emotional health and leading a happy balanced life. A boundary is another way to think about how you communicate your guidelines for engagement. I believe when we feel triggered by stress, underneath this trigger is a boundary we need to set for yourself. If you have found yourself feeling guilty, afraid, or selfish when you set a boundary, know you are not alone. I believe the difficulty we have in creating a boundary is directly related to our self-esteem, how much we believe we deserve, and how well we expect to be treated.
A defining moment for me in my early thirties was a phone call with an acquaintance that had anger issues. During our conversation, she lost her temper and unleashed some verbal abuse through name-calling. I kept listening and sending her loving energy and thoughts because I thought it was fine for people to express their anger and call you names. Thank goodness my Higher Self stepped in, tapped me on the shoulder, and said, “You are no longer to accept this behavior from anyone.” I was imbued with the courage to express that this was hurtful behavior, and asked her to please call me when she was calm. The phone was slammed down and I never heard from her again.
I am grateful to this individual because I know there are no accidents in our universe. She acted as my master teacher, showing me that I had no emotional boundaries. I simply did not know what they were, or that you could even be entitled to have them.
Now it’s your turn to lovingly shine the spotlight onto any areas in your life where you may need to implement boundaries. Below are some suggestions, questions, and guidelines to get you started.
Exercise – reflective questions
- Create sacred time for yourself. Bring out your journal and reflect on the areas of health, finances, career, home, and relationships. What is causing you stress? Honestly identify what you are truly feeling.
- What are your needs or desires that aren’t being met?
- What are you saying yes to and what you are saying no to?
- Are there behaviors you are tolerating from yourself or others that aren’t healthy? Is it time to raise your standards?
- Do you have any conflicts or situations you have been coping with instead of resolving?
- What needs to change?
Read over your list and feel what is in your heart. What is your truth? Your truth can liberate you and truly set you free.
If you desire a conversation with another person, ask their permission first and choose the right time. When you have your conversation, always come from your heart with love and compassion, and remember you have another beautiful human being in front of you. For other areas in your life, I recommend teaming up with a close friend to make it fun, and to assist each other with accountability for the changes you desire.
I would love to hear how this resonates with you! Please share in the comments below, or visit my Facebook page here!
Join the discussion One Comment
Great article with 6 fab questions that inspire action! Thank you for helping to create the space to observe what we are being “tolerable” of and where we might be “coping,” rather than resolving. Good guidance that will help support a much more assertive world! XO